M and D on the right coast (as in east, not incorrect)

As you all know, I took a trip down to MD to see the parental units. I got there in the later part of the evening, just in time to wish Mom a Happy Birthday, watch some Shark Week, and then go to bed. It was a fun trip. Too short for me, but fun. I did make B take me for a hike, which was lovely. And I got some good pics of Em and the rents. My favorite part of the trip was sitting on the front steps with E in the relative cool of the evening. We read together; she Nancy Drew, me National Geographic. She is an excellent reader and I think we must have looked straight out of Norman Rockwell or some other terribly domestic picket fency kind of mag. Very fun.

Big fat nothing

I am sad to report that nothing exciting is going on, especially on the career front. Well, on second thought I guess that's not entirely true. My good friend Q from my Southern Utah days dragged me onto Facebook. I don't know if you all know this story, but my sophomore year at SUU I lived in a house with seven other girls. We became known in the theatre community as the PMS house because you women know the story; we all dragged each other onto one another's cycles, therefore, in theory, we would all be PMSing at the same time. Since we were all clever, we decided that we would call ourselves Pi Mu Sigma, thereby creating our own little sorority. It has been such a ridiculous pleasure to be in touch with all of these women again, most of whom I haven't seen since leaving Cedar City in 1993.

I have been crazy busy at work. One of the girls quit, so last week and this week have been in overtime territory. I am also caring for a friend's cat and taking his job as a personal assistant for a couple of weeks while he makes the western rounds (an old friend of mine from WSU, hitting Vegas, Layton, and Jackson Hole, poor guy). I have no time.

I do have some things to look forward to: I am headed down to MD to visit Mom, Dad, Bry, Starr, and Emmy for a couple of days. I also got to take a very quick trip to Philly to see a friend of mine (again, fellow Utahn, representing!) in the national tour of Mamma Mia. He was great! He plays Sky and is the best part of the show. Go see it if it ends up in your neck of the woods. You will especially enjoy the mega-mix at the end. I love me a good mega-mix. I am undeniably biased, but I really enjoyed his performance (shout-out to GH, you know you're a rock star).

That's about it. No auditions happening, just cat petting, laundry doing, and reservation taking. Fun.

4th of July

This past July 4th was the first 4th I've had in years where I wasn't working or doing a show. My friend Michelle has a cute little apartment in Jersey just on the other side of the Hudson with great Manhattan views. They also have a cute little backyard and two adorable doggies, who were wearing their dress-up outfits when we arrived for the BBQ. Victor went all out (and he is a graduate of the American Culinary Institute so he does NOT mess around) and they had a great turn-out. We had a great time. The fireworks however, were a little anticlimatic. We could see across the river to the shows in Manhattan, but it was rainy, sticky, and therefore, not thrilling. But here are some pics.
This is Michelle, me and Rachel. We are book club buddies. And below is what was happening as the fireworks were going on. As you can see, raining. I hope you all had a great 4th!

Prayers for people who lose things

Sometimes we lose things: People, love, pets, our favorite necklace, wedding rings down bathroom drains. I remember one time dropping my wedding ring down the bathroom drain accidentally and the sense of panic and the onset of complete nausea as I watched something precious disappear. It was palpable, a tinny taste in my throat and mouth.

It's no secret that we are all going to die. We don't know when or how, yet we know that it will happen. Sometimes I wonder if it's a blessing of sorts to be diagnosed with something like terminal cancer. You and your family know that the day is soon. You set your house in order, tell everyone you know that they are loved and held so esteemed. And we, the people who get to watch the dying learn compassion, faith, hope. We get to decide ahead of time how we are going to handle someone we love leaving this sphere and being in the hereafter, whatever that may be for you.

So I would like to acknowledge the people who have passed who may be precious to me or precious to people I know. I cannot empathize with your suffering and anguish but I hope that you can teach me compassion.

Ruben O., who lost his 8 year old daughter to cancer. Wade-o, who moved to Canada to be close to his father as he fights Multiple Myeloma. My roomie Tom who lost a friend to Leukemia. Sweet baby sis Boo, who lost her MIL just yesterday to cancer. Her husband loses his mother, her FIL his wife, his true love, we hope. My roomie Shane lost his brother Scott to a car accident as he was driving to pick up his first date. I have two friends suffering HIV. My friend S has a friend who lost both of her sons; one to murder and the other to cancer. A theatre associate and friend of mine overdosed on morphine. He was 20. I sang a song from Peter Pan at his funeral. It's a song about a boy who will never grow old. My friend Shannon, all of 20, died in a head-on collision with a semi-truck in rural Wyoming. The kicker: she was on her way home after traveling to see me in a show.

These are the things that are on the top of my head. I could think of more if I dug further into my past, but none of this will bring them back to us. I just want to know, somehow, that there is method to this madness. Stock religious answers don't satisfy me. So I will try to comfort myself with the thought that I have right here, right now to love people. I KNOW beyond a doubt that I am flawed in this and every other aspect of my life. But I am learning. I hope that I always continue to learn.

Should I ever wear a wedding band again and if that thing should go down the drain, I will remember that it is just a thing; a symbol but still a thing. Instead of panicking, I will grab that man, hold him tight and know that losing the symbol does not make our love any less real.

Ode to Pops

Since I'm here in the NYC and can't be there for Father's Day, I thought that I would type a top-ten list for the old guy. You know, the Dad top 10. So here are my top-ten favorite things about Dad, in no particular order:

1. Dad, you are inseparable from that damn lawn mower. It cracks me up to no end.
2. You can't fault a man for liking malt balls and Dr. Pepper.
3. You did buy me chocolate soda and proved, once and for all, that I will not drink just anything with caffeine in it.
4. You took time out of your day to walk sweet Yeti when Wade and I were unable to.
5. You wouldn't come see Dracula because you were too scared. Awwww...kinda sweet.
6. You helped me research all those airplanes when I did A Place in the Sky. Remember those days at the Air Force Museum and library?
7. You always squint one eye when you brush your hair. The left one, I think.
8. You are one stubborn son of a bitch.
9. You are partially made of metal.
10. You were my soccer coach and you let us dump water on your head all the time. That's nice.

Now, so Mom won't feel left out and since I didn't think of this until today, thereby completely missing Mother's Day, I better put one up for Mom, too.

1. Remember back in the day when you used to buy me underwear? Very sweet.
2. You always fold laundry into perfect little piles.
3. You make your shoes shiny white so they'll always look pretty and new.
4. You take care of all the little babies; your grandkids and others.
5. Your nostrils flare when you laugh really hard (an oldie, but a goodie).
6. You are fighting age like a warrior. I love it!
7. You don't wear old lady clothes.
8. You let dad ride around on his lawn mower all day.
9. When I didn't get into the special choir in 9th grade, you let me check out of school, come home and cry.
10. You wouldn't let me dye my hair black.

And here's what I admire the most about Mom and Dad as a twosome: They love eachother. Fiercely, adamantly. They don't judge anybody. They love their family as much as their hearts can pour out. So Happy Father's Day, Pops, and Happy Belated Mother's Day, Mom. Enjoy your grilling!

Birthday party fun!

So last night was my birthday party! It ended being kind of strange because the party was combined with Ariel from Mermaid. And that's me above with Michelle, the only Mermaid that counts. But there were a ton of people there, only some of whom I knew, but my half of the rented area was the cool kid half, and we had a great time!
These are my good friends Kraig and Jeremy. Two of the most talented men you will ever meet. Jeremy is currently in Phantom on the Bway and Kraig has won two Barrymore Awards, a very prestigious theatre award.

My sweet roomies, Tom and Shane. Shane is the Associate Choreographer for The Grinch on Bway and is likely headed back to Bway as an actor in an upcoming production. Tom has created classes and workshops for Vassar and is a very successful actor as well. He is headed to grad school in the fall. I will miss him.
These are three of my Producer boys who came out for the fun! From left to right: Leo Bloom, the lead tenor who sang Springtime for Hitler, and Carmen Ghia. All ridiculously talented men and good friends.
And this is me; laughing! I had such an amazing time and felt so blessed to have so many people come to celebrate my birthday!

Fun in NYC

I got to do something fun yesterday! If you go all the way downtown, you can walk across the Brooklyn Bridge! It's actually pretty cool, beautiful views of midtown and the east river. You can even see the Statue of Liberty in the distance.
And this picture is at this really cute park right by City Hall, which is very cool as well.
My big birthday party is tomorrow night. I have a lot of friends coming and the party is going to be accidentally combined with Ariel from the Little Mermaid. Lots of bway peeps at this shindig, but I will post pics of that as well!

Hiking to do!

I didn't get a chance to head south as I had hoped, so I decided to spend my week between dental treatments soaking in the SLC sun. As it happened, this has been the nicest and warmest weather since my late March arrival (and truthfully, with my show and rehearsal schedule, I couldn't quite find the energy to hike as I would have liked). So, I have spent several days in Millcreek Canyon and one in Mueller Park. There has been so much snow that there's also some lovely waterfalls, especially in Millcreek.


And now it's back to NYC and no..."hiking" in Central Park DOES NOT COUNT! Who thought that it could? Those elitist easterners who pronounce Alta as "All-tah." What a bunch of posers. And that's from the people who have actually skied it. Or so they say.
And my dental work is almost complete. I have one last trip to the dentist tomorrow to discuss this whole crown business. I heard something about having to file my tooth down to a nub and get fitted, etc. I have to leave town on Tuesday and I don't want to have my tooth filed down in a cannibal-like fashion. We shall see. I'm skeptical...

Car for sell!

I am selling my car! 2005 Nissan Sentra. Really cute, clean, excellent condition inside and out! Great gas mileage (cheers to 31 mpg around town). Cheap to insure, keyless entry, A/C that I never use since I'm one of those damn hippies ("I like the free, fresh wind in my hair, life without care..." Can anyone name that song?). Please buy it from me so I cannot have anxiety thinking about my car parked in my parent's driveway while I take the NYC subway. If you are interested or know anyone that is interested, post a comment!

Wow! Really?

For those of you who have hesitated to get your dental work done, let me give you this piece of advice: DON'T!!! Some of you know this story, but for those of you who don't, it's loads of fun.

Last week I had a bit of a toothache. Not too bad, just a little pressure. Over the days, however, it grew progressively worse. Like, bad. Like, "I cannot chew, my cheek is going to explode, I hate my life" kind of pain. I woke up last Monday and it looked like I had a golf ball in my cheek. Fortunately, I had just purchased one of those discount dental plans, anticipating that I would have to get some dental work done. However, the plan would not be activated until May 1st. Serious panic sets in as I think about that Discovery Channel show that did a mummy autopsy. They discovered that the mummy had died from an abscessed tooth! Aaaaaaahhhhhh! So I called a dentist who was in my network. The company, dental select, was kind enough to backdate my plan to April 1st so I could see the dentist before May 1st. So, he numbs me up and does a pulpotomy, which is basically digging all the crap out and making me ache free. I still have to finish the root canal and then get a crown. It is going to cost me over $1000 out of pocket. Sigh.

But there have been many good things, one of which included a stint on The Radio from Hell Show. For those of you who listen to x96 (96.3 on the F.M. dial), I spent last Wednesday as a member of the extremely popular morning show. I had a blast! Kevin also came in for the first hour and got to meet the DJ's. Very fun. You can go to x96.com and listen to the April 30th podcast. You can hear me talking with them and basically having a good time.
That's us above. They said that when I come into town to call them, so hopefully I'll be able to go back on again. Thanks to all of you who listened!

Little old Lady Land

I'm not avoiding any of you, I promise. I am in rehearsal so I may as well be out of the country. For those of you know the Producers, there is this number in the show where a bunch of little old ladies come out and do a dance with walkers, and I promise you, no little old lady could do it. It's pretty demanding, actually. Anyway, today we were learning the number, and we were all on the ground learning this domino-like fall (which eventually got cut). I was sitting on the ground but the gentleman next to me, the dance captain, was standing up. He grabbed his walker, turned around, and BAM! Smashed me right in the nose with the leg of his walker. I covered my face like Marcia Brady when she gets hit in the nose with the football, exhaled, and started crying like a little girl. Waaaahhhh. But they are all over it there. Stage management had an ice pack out and Ibufrofin ready to go in about ten seconds flat. I looked up and the choreographer, director, and stage manager were circled around me. I felt very taken care of, which is great.

We open on April 25th, so try to come and see the show. I really think you all would laugh (although it's not for the young. JSYK).

I love to work out, but...

This past Tuesday and Wednesday I spent basically two full days doing nothing but exercising. I love to work out, but for two days...needless to say, my legs aren't as young as they used to be. But it was a lot of fun and I learned a lot about the fitness industry and the production of fitness DVD's. It was a very eye-opening experience. Here is a picture of us with the host of the DVD and the spokeswoman for the Idaho Potato, Denise Austin.

And the picture below is with us (Denise's "dance team") and the choreographer Lisa. She is a Reebok Master Trainer and has danced with many dance companies. She is not playing around, and I promise you, this DVD never would have happened without her.

And here is me in the make-up chair. Everyone on the production was wonderful, from the make-up, hair, and stylists, to the beautiful and talented women that were on the production with me. The big bonus: Paid at the end of the day!
They said it will be released in September or October, so let's all get together and eat pizza and popcorn while we watch it!

Worst day ever

Pertinent points:

1. If you accidentally leave your bank card at Kinko's and some loser butthole discovers it, they will completely drain your bank account.
2. Your bank (Wamu) will have absolutely no sympathy and tell you "sorry, Charlie."
3. You will live in the nethermost regions of Manhattan, where the train runs sporadically on the weekends due to construction, and you will spend 3 1/2 hours of your day on various modes of transportation with the crazy homeless guy who kicks garbage cans, smells of urine, and then, OF COURSE, sits next to you on the train.
4. You will take every wrong train possible and end up in Spanish Harlem.
5. You will consider very seriously taking a cab until you realize that your bank account is completely empty thanks to #1 and that the coat check money you earned tonight is your ONLY source of income.

On the upside:
1. Kinko's seemed pretty nice and said they would refund my money.
2. One of the cooks at work sent out an "all raw" dinner for me because he knew I'd had a bad day.
3. I shoot my DVD on Tuesday and Wednesday and meet with some commercial casting directors tomorrow, so that's good.

Sigh.

Hazzah!

Here's some good news: I booked a fitness DVD! You will see me exercising on DVD sometime in the near future. And it pays pretty well, so there you go. A little bit of good news for the folks back home. Who knew that all this working out would pay off? Literally?

Why I heart NY

Okay, there are many reasons why NYC is cooler than LA (which I don't really have to iterate for those of you who have any common sense or taste).

My top ten list:
1. Two days ago I saw a man walking down 8th Avenue at 57th street (very busy) with a cat perched atop his head. All four little paws, just sitting there.
2. Yesterday in Barnes and Noble at 66th Street and Columbus (just across the street from the Mormon Temple) I had two youngish people ask me if I wanted to take a survey about the concept of a Heavenly Mother. I pointed to the church across the street and said, "Why don't you go over there and ask them."
3. Everyone here knows me. At auditions all the casting people say to me, "Don't I know you?" I'm always like, "um...yeah!"
4. The men who work out at my gym who look so 'roided out that they should go before the committee investigating steroid abuse instead of Roger Clemens.
5. I went into a coffee shop to purchase a beverage and realized too late that they didn't accept debit. Just cash. The gentleman asked me if I was frequently in the neighborhood and when I told him yes said that I could just pay for it next time.
6. A lady prevented me from getting on a subway car because she said that there was a crazy man in there who was making the women very uncomfortable. I missed the train but didn't get harrassed. Nice trade-off.
7. My book club, currently reading Lolita and Reading Lolita in Tehran.
8. The eighth floor of the Marriott Marquis, where they have a Starbucks and plenty of room to take a load off. Mighty thanks for the tip to GH, rock star.
9. Lookadoo and the words "nut sack" and "merms."
10. My boss at work who sings all the songs from Sunday in the Park with George.

Things are looking up.....

Anyone know what musical that song is from? It's a Gershwin tune, I'll give you that much of a hint, and since the same Gershwin songs have a tendency to be in a bunch of their musicals, your chances of guessing are pretty good....Bueller? Bueller?

So, there's good news since I've been in the NYC. I got in touch with an agency I did some print for before I left for LA. I emailed her some of Keli's pics, and "of course I want to work with you! Bring pictures to my office and we'll get you working!" So that's great. And I finally saw the trailer for my film, National Lampoon's Bag Boy. Not to be sent straight to DVD, it opens in theatres on February 29th. I am in the trailer, albeit very briefly, but you can see a flash of red hair. I'm really looking forward to seeing the movie. Go to bagboythemovie.com and you can see the trailer.

And I have been working like a dog. Seriously. My restaurant loves me. I've only been there a couple of weeks, but they had me training a new girl (talk about the blind leading the blind. I seriously couldn't remember anything....that poor girl). But they've got me working pretty much full-time and I'm grateful for the dough.

I signed up for a soap class this weekend. It's like a workshop, where you work with copy and do scenes from soaps overseen by the casting director of a very famous soap opera. He gives critique of your skills and your marketability in the soap world. So I am planning on showing up to this thing ready to work! I wanna book me a soap, so keep me in your thoughts this weekend as I try to impress the soap opera gods.

What else did I want to tell you? I booked The Producers at PTC, so I am headed back west at the end of March. If you want to see me as a showgirl wearing a giant sausage, this is your chance.

Oh, and Happy VD...one of my least favorite holidays, right underneath "pull my fingernails off slowly day."

I promised

I promised Keli that I would apologize to all of you who saw the pictures below in their un-photoshopped states. I think they look beautiful, but I'm no photog, and apparently I was wrong about their loveliness. The photo above has been photoshopped, and it is even lovelier than the original. So, thank you Keli, for taking the time to make this picture even more fabulous. Check out some photoshopped versions of the photos at www.photographybykeli.blogspot.com.

Shameless plug

As the title above suggests, this is a shameless plug for my sister Keli and her business, photography by Keli. She does a great job. I've picked some of my favorites, and none of these have been photoshopped. So, if you happen to stop by this blog and need a photog, check out her website, photoraphybykeli.com. She's awesome! Thank you, Keli, for a fun and productive day!

HIGHLARIOUS!

I know that's not how you spell hilarious, but since the following is definitely heightened, I wanted to give extra emphasis to the HIGH part. My sister S put together this picture CD of everyone with millions of pics on it, most of which (at least of me) I wish had never happened.

But to show you all that I actually do have a sense of humor, I have decided to post the most humiliating pictures, because I figure if they make me laugh out loud, then if you are feeling sad and blue, you can check out my page and say, "Oh my, the 80's were mean."

This is me, as a wee little babe. Mom probably didn't know, but lavender is considered THEE Gemini color. That and yellow.

This is, by far, the worst picture I've ever taken. It was the one occasion the whole time I wore braces that I actually smiled for a picture. This is reason enough to not succumb to peer pressure. Or lame ass photographer pressure. Yikes.

And this, my friends, is why I call this posting HIGHLARIOUS!!! See, that hair? Do you know how many bottles of Rave extra stiff were used to create that wave? I'm pretty sure I wore this to the Depeche Mode concert in 1987, opening act was OMD. "If you leave, don't leave now, please don't take my heart away." Aaaahhh, good times.

And this picture was taken about 1 1 1/2 years ago. See, there is hope, I guess, although I can't seem to escape the suit jacket theme...and I don't have a white hankie sticking out and a grandma brooch. Did all of you know that in junior high I was voted most likely to become the next Molly Ringwald? Pretty dubious distinction, especially considering that she really is a horrible actress. But she does speak french beautifully, and she guest starred on Medium somewhat recently, and hell yeah...I'd have one of those!

Merry...

The holidays, I think, are an extraordinarily difficult time. Often times, we run frantically from place to crowded place trying to find that perfect gift that will give our loved ones actual, physical proof of how much we really do love them.

J (love the pic, bro) told me a story today that reminded me of how much we forget that this time of year is not about consumption and one-upmanship but about love. Love unrequited, love unacknowledged and acknowledged, love desired, love felt, love received, love wanting to be given. Sometimes, don't you feel your heart will burst from all the love inside of it? That sensation when it visits me travels from my heart to my throat, straight into my eyes where I fight back tears. See, sometimes people do things for others just because they can. They want to help someone feel better about themselves, maybe help them pay bills, maybe even help them buy gifts that may have otherwise gone without purchase.

It's often hard when you are on the receiving side of this kind of love because our egos don't want to acknowledge that occasionally we really do need help. We don't want to admit that sometimes we need someone watching over us, believing in us, acting graciously on our behalf.

It's true that we all have an embarrassment of riches. Even me, as broke as I am, am typing this from my warm room on my own computer. There are many people working so hard who simply cannot make it work with only 24 hours in one day. They are the working poor. Most of us are literally not even one paycheck away from losing our homes, our cars, our sense of self. And yet the world is full of love. Snow falls from the sky and we find it inconvenient, and yet it blesses us with the water to enrich our bodies and souls. The sun shines and burns our skin but it brings us life. Literally. It wakes the spring flowers, inspires us to cross to the sunny side of the street (and to sing songs by Billie Holliday). That is love.

I don't suppose I really have a point, but I believe that we forget to acknowledge the people seen and unseen who are guiding us and keeping us safe. And if this holiday season serves to do anything for me, I hope I can remember that there is love out there just pleading for us to grasp it.