Hazzah!

Here's some good news: I booked a fitness DVD! You will see me exercising on DVD sometime in the near future. And it pays pretty well, so there you go. A little bit of good news for the folks back home. Who knew that all this working out would pay off? Literally?

Why I heart NY

Okay, there are many reasons why NYC is cooler than LA (which I don't really have to iterate for those of you who have any common sense or taste).

My top ten list:
1. Two days ago I saw a man walking down 8th Avenue at 57th street (very busy) with a cat perched atop his head. All four little paws, just sitting there.
2. Yesterday in Barnes and Noble at 66th Street and Columbus (just across the street from the Mormon Temple) I had two youngish people ask me if I wanted to take a survey about the concept of a Heavenly Mother. I pointed to the church across the street and said, "Why don't you go over there and ask them."
3. Everyone here knows me. At auditions all the casting people say to me, "Don't I know you?" I'm always like, "um...yeah!"
4. The men who work out at my gym who look so 'roided out that they should go before the committee investigating steroid abuse instead of Roger Clemens.
5. I went into a coffee shop to purchase a beverage and realized too late that they didn't accept debit. Just cash. The gentleman asked me if I was frequently in the neighborhood and when I told him yes said that I could just pay for it next time.
6. A lady prevented me from getting on a subway car because she said that there was a crazy man in there who was making the women very uncomfortable. I missed the train but didn't get harrassed. Nice trade-off.
7. My book club, currently reading Lolita and Reading Lolita in Tehran.
8. The eighth floor of the Marriott Marquis, where they have a Starbucks and plenty of room to take a load off. Mighty thanks for the tip to GH, rock star.
9. Lookadoo and the words "nut sack" and "merms."
10. My boss at work who sings all the songs from Sunday in the Park with George.

Things are looking up.....

Anyone know what musical that song is from? It's a Gershwin tune, I'll give you that much of a hint, and since the same Gershwin songs have a tendency to be in a bunch of their musicals, your chances of guessing are pretty good....Bueller? Bueller?

So, there's good news since I've been in the NYC. I got in touch with an agency I did some print for before I left for LA. I emailed her some of Keli's pics, and "of course I want to work with you! Bring pictures to my office and we'll get you working!" So that's great. And I finally saw the trailer for my film, National Lampoon's Bag Boy. Not to be sent straight to DVD, it opens in theatres on February 29th. I am in the trailer, albeit very briefly, but you can see a flash of red hair. I'm really looking forward to seeing the movie. Go to bagboythemovie.com and you can see the trailer.

And I have been working like a dog. Seriously. My restaurant loves me. I've only been there a couple of weeks, but they had me training a new girl (talk about the blind leading the blind. I seriously couldn't remember anything....that poor girl). But they've got me working pretty much full-time and I'm grateful for the dough.

I signed up for a soap class this weekend. It's like a workshop, where you work with copy and do scenes from soaps overseen by the casting director of a very famous soap opera. He gives critique of your skills and your marketability in the soap world. So I am planning on showing up to this thing ready to work! I wanna book me a soap, so keep me in your thoughts this weekend as I try to impress the soap opera gods.

What else did I want to tell you? I booked The Producers at PTC, so I am headed back west at the end of March. If you want to see me as a showgirl wearing a giant sausage, this is your chance.

Oh, and Happy VD...one of my least favorite holidays, right underneath "pull my fingernails off slowly day."

I promised

I promised Keli that I would apologize to all of you who saw the pictures below in their un-photoshopped states. I think they look beautiful, but I'm no photog, and apparently I was wrong about their loveliness. The photo above has been photoshopped, and it is even lovelier than the original. So, thank you Keli, for taking the time to make this picture even more fabulous. Check out some photoshopped versions of the photos at www.photographybykeli.blogspot.com.

Shameless plug

As the title above suggests, this is a shameless plug for my sister Keli and her business, photography by Keli. She does a great job. I've picked some of my favorites, and none of these have been photoshopped. So, if you happen to stop by this blog and need a photog, check out her website, photoraphybykeli.com. She's awesome! Thank you, Keli, for a fun and productive day!

HIGHLARIOUS!

I know that's not how you spell hilarious, but since the following is definitely heightened, I wanted to give extra emphasis to the HIGH part. My sister S put together this picture CD of everyone with millions of pics on it, most of which (at least of me) I wish had never happened.

But to show you all that I actually do have a sense of humor, I have decided to post the most humiliating pictures, because I figure if they make me laugh out loud, then if you are feeling sad and blue, you can check out my page and say, "Oh my, the 80's were mean."

This is me, as a wee little babe. Mom probably didn't know, but lavender is considered THEE Gemini color. That and yellow.

This is, by far, the worst picture I've ever taken. It was the one occasion the whole time I wore braces that I actually smiled for a picture. This is reason enough to not succumb to peer pressure. Or lame ass photographer pressure. Yikes.

And this, my friends, is why I call this posting HIGHLARIOUS!!! See, that hair? Do you know how many bottles of Rave extra stiff were used to create that wave? I'm pretty sure I wore this to the Depeche Mode concert in 1987, opening act was OMD. "If you leave, don't leave now, please don't take my heart away." Aaaahhh, good times.

And this picture was taken about 1 1 1/2 years ago. See, there is hope, I guess, although I can't seem to escape the suit jacket theme...and I don't have a white hankie sticking out and a grandma brooch. Did all of you know that in junior high I was voted most likely to become the next Molly Ringwald? Pretty dubious distinction, especially considering that she really is a horrible actress. But she does speak french beautifully, and she guest starred on Medium somewhat recently, and hell yeah...I'd have one of those!

Merry...

The holidays, I think, are an extraordinarily difficult time. Often times, we run frantically from place to crowded place trying to find that perfect gift that will give our loved ones actual, physical proof of how much we really do love them.

J (love the pic, bro) told me a story today that reminded me of how much we forget that this time of year is not about consumption and one-upmanship but about love. Love unrequited, love unacknowledged and acknowledged, love desired, love felt, love received, love wanting to be given. Sometimes, don't you feel your heart will burst from all the love inside of it? That sensation when it visits me travels from my heart to my throat, straight into my eyes where I fight back tears. See, sometimes people do things for others just because they can. They want to help someone feel better about themselves, maybe help them pay bills, maybe even help them buy gifts that may have otherwise gone without purchase.

It's often hard when you are on the receiving side of this kind of love because our egos don't want to acknowledge that occasionally we really do need help. We don't want to admit that sometimes we need someone watching over us, believing in us, acting graciously on our behalf.

It's true that we all have an embarrassment of riches. Even me, as broke as I am, am typing this from my warm room on my own computer. There are many people working so hard who simply cannot make it work with only 24 hours in one day. They are the working poor. Most of us are literally not even one paycheck away from losing our homes, our cars, our sense of self. And yet the world is full of love. Snow falls from the sky and we find it inconvenient, and yet it blesses us with the water to enrich our bodies and souls. The sun shines and burns our skin but it brings us life. Literally. It wakes the spring flowers, inspires us to cross to the sunny side of the street (and to sing songs by Billie Holliday). That is love.

I don't suppose I really have a point, but I believe that we forget to acknowledge the people seen and unseen who are guiding us and keeping us safe. And if this holiday season serves to do anything for me, I hope I can remember that there is love out there just pleading for us to grasp it.

Tire travails

I've been trying since I bought my Nissan Trampy to switch out the tires and rims. See, I think the person who owned it before had dreams of having the world's dumbest and most impractical tires, because they're 18" low profile tires with chrome rims. My Nissan is supposed to have 15" tires. Needless to say, they rub me in the all the wrong ways (literally and figuratively). I tried to sell the set on Craig's List, KSL classifieds, and even Ebay, but no hits. So, I found this place in West Valley...which might as well be the seventh level of hell, I mean, I try not to go west of the freeway if I can help it (call me an elitist snob...it's okay). But this place deals strictly in after-market tires and rims, and he can take mine and replace them with the right size and sell them later.

I have been to this place four times. Four. I'm pretty sure I've spent a full twenty-four hours waiting in their smoke-drenched waiting room, and today was no exception. I made an appointment for today, and he assured me that the right-sized tires were in and that it would be no problem. Fast-forward 2 1/2 hours, and I still haven't gotten in. So, FINALLY, he comes to me and says, "I've got your tires and rims. You want to see them?" I was like....YEAH! So I go out to look at them, and they're nice, but they look kind of big. I ask him, "Are these the right size? They look big." And he looks at the box and then smacks his head a la Homer Simpson (Doh!), and says, "You're right. They're too big." He gave me two placating hugs, saying that he was sorry and that he would definitely have the right size tomorrow. So, back I go, again, to wait in that room with the world's saddest TV and loudest telephone, to get rims and tires on my car. Sigh.

As a random aside, I got new headshots which I've posted above. Let me know what you think!

Too long

I know, I know, I know! It's been way too long! "What have you been doing?" one may ask. Well, the answer is everything and nothing. To recap:
1. I bought a car, a 2005 Nissan Sentra. Her name is Trampy after Alexander Supertramp (read Into the Wild or see the movie and you'll get it).
2. I, in my short time here in UT, have already had and quit two jobs. What can I say? It's a gift.
3. I filmed a commercial for the ubiquitous "one call, that's all" guy. I still haven't seen my stint as an accident victim, but a costume designer friend said to me "I knew that they were actors!"
4. As of today, I have the right of first refusal for a feature film. SAG, of course. A creepy, disgusting horror film. I suppose if I book it that all of my worst nightmares will be made manifest, in the movie world of course. In the three scenes that I read for, I got a cigarette put out on my arm, killed and brought back to life with a defibrillator, and bled to death, my arms full of IV's. The best part: She's a college co-ed! Sssshhhhh...don't tell! It shoots most of December, and should everything fall into place, I will shoot 80% of the schedule. Keep all of your extremities crossed!
5. If I don't book this project, I head back to LA on Monday.
6. I almost forgot! I choreographed a great big musical called Beauty & the Beast. Perhaps you've heard of it? I worked with a good friend of mine from college. He trusts my opinion and we support each other's ideas. It is always a wonderful, collaborative, creative experience to work with Mark. I admire him very much. He's the hardest working man in show-biz!
7. I got new headshots! I will post some when I get them. She's a wonderful, business-like photographer who gives you what you want and does it beautifully. I look forward to seeing them!

I think that's it. When I write it down, it seems like a lot. Well, my second callback is tomorrow, so everyone just put it out there that I book this role!

A waitress rant

For Pop's Birthday

So, Dad, for your birthday I decided to celebrate with a hike. I know, I shouldn't have, but what can I say? The hills are alive with the sound of music! I have sent some pics from my Angel's Landing hike. I know some of you have done it before, and the camera died before I could get more pics from the top, but I got a couple of good ones along the way just to remind everyone how effing steep and scary this hike can be. See those chains? That's the only thing between you and 1500 feet, baby!

This view to the left is looking up at 21 switchbacks called Walter's Wiggles that resemble a spiral staircase. If you've hiked it, you've done it. Impressive, huh?

And at last, the view from the top (well, almost). It's about 150 or more feet shy.

Happy Labor Day all! Take the day off!

Cedar Breaks

It's too bad that I spent two years of my life in Cedar City and never bothered to hike in Cedar Breaks. It is absolutely gorgeous! If you ever take Highway 14 east (or west) take the 148 North and check this place out. Fantastic!

This hike starts out at the altitude of the sign listed to the left. That'll remind you about aerobic capacity! I get a little excited when I hike, and I really had to remind myself to slow down. It wasn't so bad while walking, but the moment you stopped you felt your lungs take in a little gulp and then squeeze it all out, as if waiting to be completely filled.
And these are some little daisy bushes that I found along the way. I love Southern Utah!

I saw a Mermaid!

I know it's been a while, but I've been on the road, directing lions, giraffes, and gnus in Park City. Then I spotted some Mermaids in Denver. For those of you who don't know, my bestie Michelle is in the Little Mermaid which is having it's pre-Broadway try-out in Denver. Having a pre-Bway run allows them to iron out all the wrinkles (and I'll be honest, it had a few) before they get ripped apart by NY critics, which let's face it, critics love to shred things, especially well-meaning, high-budget Disney shows that are destined to run for at least the next ten years. It is visually one of the most beautiful shows I have ever seen, and there is some creative choreography. That being said, the producers and designers have quite a battle on their hands as they try to figure out ways to make land and sea meet. But Michelle was great, as always, and we had a really great time last week working out and eating out.


And this is Michelle after her first hike EVER! She had lots of questions about bugs, snakes, and mountain lions, which are probably good things to think about, but I never do anymore. I think more about freaky weird men lurking in the bushes. She did a really good job. It was a moderate hike with a moderate ascent, but there were some drop-offs, and at the top of the hill the trail became, um...not very clear. We had to do a little bit of wandering around, but we found our way down. We were filthy when were done, but that did not dissuade us from shopping at this really great outlet mall, where I got a $200 caramel colored leather jacket for $30 and an adorable white summer dress marked down from $150 to $40. Michelle is my shopping buddy. We had a great time. Those of you with kids should make an effort to get to NY to see this on Bway. It will be a very special memory for your kids, I promise! Oh, and did I mention the free backstage tour I can get you led by a mermaid?

Stealing from Juli

I love Juli's random thoughts. You know, they are kind of...random, but it made me think of things that I find random. I love the word random. Random is defined by, ironically, Random House Webster's Pocket Dictionary as "without aim or consistency." That is probably the most succint it gets. I'm sure that, say, the Oxford Dictionary would have a much longer meaning with origin and phonetically spelled, etc. Luckily, I am not a complete moron and I know how to say "random" without having to sound it out.

So, here are my random thoughts:
1. The world is a better place with DVR in it.
2. I spend way too much money on groceries because I buy fruit and veggies, which of course, are way more expensive than white bread and potato chips.
3. It's hard to think of random thoughts when you're trying. I was chock-full the other day.
4. I don't like mean people. I want to be a person full of love and light. And those mean people, I want to punch them in their fat guts!
5. An old man at the country club kissed my cheek once because he liked the table.
6. I hate working real jobs. I haven't been properly trained. Eight shows a week, no problem, 9-5....forget it. I'd rather eat my own vomit. Not kidding.
7. I think that people in SoCal are meaner than people anywhere on this planet. Money will NOT buy you happiness. I've got proof. They're called the "B#$ch Top Five" and they're all members at the Brentwood Country club (since I am no longer an employee I have no desire to protect the guilty any more. Not that I ever really cared anyway).
8. I really do believe that Macs are better than PC's.
9. I have the most creative, talented friends in the world.
10. I don't like to clean toilets.
11. I can't stop at ten now, can I? This is a random list!
12. I wish I had an I-phone.
13. I think that Lindsay Lohan (get to rehab), Paris Hilton (go back to jail), Britney Spears (get some counseling), and Nicole Richie (eat some cheese) should be banished to a place without cell phones (say...Gnome, Alaska) because of their irresponsible representation of women in general. Get a life, you losers!

That really became more of a Dennis Miller-like rant. But I do feel better. Thanks, Jules, for the tip.

Workworkwork

I really do do things other than beat old ladies with billy clubs at the country club where I no longer work. Thank my lucky stars. I look for the perfect job here in LA, although I still have no idea where that may be. I have also been auditioning, three last week, which is pretty good. I had an audition for Thoroughly Modern Millie on Monday. I sang in the morning and got called back to dance in the afternoon. We did a jazz combo, then he cut people, then a tap combo. I felt really good about how I did, especially considering that A: I don't really dance that often, and B: I was easily ten years older than most girls in that room. I definitely held my own with those young'uns. Then on Saturday I had an audition for a feature film. This one was for a character in a ballet company. She's the fading star (think Sheila in A Chorus Line, "May the adults please smoke?") and is having difficulty adapting to the younger dancers. It films in Russia and China. I think I did really well. There was this girl called in for the young dancer who was asking me questions after the call. She was like "You were in there a long time. What happened?" And I told her a little bit, and then I told her to be prepared to dance. You should have seen the look on her face. She said a very long, drawn-out, "whaaaaaattt?" I was like, just do some basic ballet, you know like some tendus or an across the floor combo. So if she's even a close comparison to what the other girls are like, I think I have a pretty good shot. Then on Sunday, I had a great audition to be a germophobic mom. The scenario was that I discover my little girl in the men's restroom playing with a urinal puck. And act! I had a great time, just messing around. They auditors were laughing, writing down my ideas...now hopefully they'll hire me. The caveat should be that it's only funny if I do it! So everyone, put me in your thoughts so I don't have to work three jobs and hustle around like an idiot just to pay rent!

You just jealous

This is Hawaii. This picture was taken on the road to Hana, one of the most winding and nausea-inducing roads you can ever hope to not drive. The road to Hana takes you around about half the island of Maui. All along the way there are waterfalls and little roadside stands selling coconuts, Hawaiian shave ice (no missing "d," I promise. The locals said that if I called it shaved ice that they wouldn't know what I was talking about), and banana bread. I guess banana bread is famous on the road to Hana. Maybe they make it from the banana trees in their front yards.

I am so bad at the blog. I tried to put the picture of Joey and his sweet six month old nephew below the water pic, but whatever. Joey is the bomb. As all of you know, he surprised me with a trip to Maui for my birthday. And thanks to all of you, I got to go. His brother lives upcountry in a little town called Kula. It's on the side of the mountain, which is really a volcano. We got to see the crater, although at 10,024 feet all we really saw were clouds. It was nice to stay up there because we got the cool of upcountry at night and the warmth of sea level during the day. We also went to Lahaina and ate Kahlua pork, poi (does anyone know how to say "ick" in Hawaiian?), some custardy coconut thing, and Lau Lau. I can't remember what that is.

I cannot express the overwhelming sense of gratitude I have for all of you who helped make this trip possible. It was so thoughtful and all of your behalves. And I learned that all of you can keep a secret! Well done!

This is where I work

Mother's Day 2007: We have on the books more than 1100 people coming to the buffet at the club where I work (whose identity will not be revealed to protect the not-so-innocent). The day before, our amazing captain, who is in charge of setting up the tables for such huge seatings (and who is a genius, if you ask me. It is practically impossible to make every one of these persnickety people happy, but he does pretty well at it) heard news that his mother passed away very unexpectedly. His mother lives in Mexico. So he left the club, of course, and left our other amazing Captain (who will call Captain Peru) in charge. Captain Peru doesn't really do the table set-ups. He helps the servers with tickets, charges, food running, etc. He's like the trouble-shooter on the floor. Needless to say, when the guests started arriving in legions, we had a few mix-ups, but I can really count them on one hand. Captain Peru did pretty well, I think, and on Mother's Day he had the look of a sweaty runner, hair out place, tie all askew, breathless. He deserves a medal and a huge bonus.

But of course, we had several unhappy guests (who will never be happy under any circumstances. Ever). But there was one lady in particular who I thought was nice until Sunday. Her name is Mrs. G. Mrs. G arrived early for the second seating with a bunch of flowers to put on the table. And do keep in mind that these tables are already set with beautifully cut floral arrangements. I told Mrs. G about the passing on of Captain #1's mother because I thought she would like to know. And this is verbatim:

Me: "Mrs. G, you should know that Captain #1's mother passed away very unexpectedly yesterday."
Mrs.G: "Oh dear. Well, I hope I have a nice table."

The end.

So here I sit after a long night of waiting tables, well worth it, though, because I walked with over $100. My knee is throbbing. I don't know if any of you remember how I messed it up during Chicago. They thought that I tore my meniscus, that they would do an MRI if it didn't calm down. Well, the show closed and it seemed to be doing okay, so I decided to let it be. I believe, however, that I have somehow irritated it enough to warrant another doctor's visit. You know when you get a sunburn and your skin feels stretched over your bones? That's how my knee feels; nice and swollen. Which is awesome since all I day to pay my bills is wait tables or stand in high heels.

But there is good news: J booked a project, which is very exciting. He's doing a staged reading of a musical that they hope to take to Broadway. Supposedly, it's already had very successful runs in Europe, and they're trying to find backers to take it to Broadway, which is where this cast comes in. The most exciting part about, it I think, is that they rehearse at the Kodak theatre, which is a beautiful space. It only takes up a week of his time and could be very fruitful in the long run, so we'll see how it ultimately pans out.

I wish I could fill you all with exciting stories of living in the big city, but the bummer part about living in a big city is that you pay big city rent, so I don't have a lot of extra income. We are boring people. We occasionally eat out, we pack our lunches, we haven't been to a movie in like a month. Sigh. But we do have DVR now and lots of movie channels, which is very exciting! Those of you who don't have DVR, you must get it. You can record everything and then fast forward through all the stupid parts. Highly recommended.

I guess that's about it. I would ice my knee but I have no ice pack. I would go to the drugstore but that would mean losing my parking space three blocks away. C'mon, you know you want to live here.

Vonnegut dead

Man, I'm bummed. Really bummed. I got a very early text message from the baby bro about Kurt Vonnegut dying. I knew that already, I read it last night on the internet. There are many reasons that this bums me out, but mostly because we've lost another satirical, say-it-like-it-is voice. Anyone read Slaughterhouse Five? Read it. It's about prisoners of war and the bombing of Dresden (he actually was a prisoner of war). "So it goes."

It's unsettling how our rights are being surrepticiously taken away. It's no secret how I feel about Dictator Bush, so I won't insult those of you who don't hate him. Did you know that we can no longer come and go as we please? You have to have a passport now to get into Canada, for heaven's sake, the most peace loving country ever put on the map. It doesn't even matter to make Mexicans have a passport, because if they want to get in badly enough they will. Same with anyone from any country. Vonnegut was a voice for those things. He gave sound to otherwise tacit thoughts. And he was not writing as some political pundit with something to gain or lose from the publishing of his books (except for money of course, but there was no political footage to be had).

We, as a society and culture are failing to keep strong voices aloft. We are losing great authors, great musicians, poets, choreographers, artists. The list goes on and on. No one has yet to replace the great writing duo of Rodgers and Hammerstein, or George and Ira Gershwin. Nor should they be replaced, per se, but there should be someone equally as groundbreaking as the writers of Oklahoma, South Pacific, The Sound of Music (come on, is there anyone that doesn't know "doe, a dear, a female dear, ray, a drop of golden sun")? Or how about "you say tomato, and I say tomato?" EVERY ONE does. The only thing that anyone can say with certainty today is "Can you hear me now? Good." Two great musical theatre writers are out there still; Stephen Sondheim and Adam Guettel. Sondheim is in his 70's, and Adam Guettel, who wrote Light in the Piazza, is fortunately young. In his 40's. Not so coincidentally, both Sondheim and Guettel have ties to the great Rodgers and Hammerstein: Sondheim apprenticed with Hammerstein, and Guettel is the grandson of Rodgers.

This is my point: These things must be perpetuated. It is not acceptable anymore to steer kids away from art, drama, music, dancing, writing, or even the gym class. It is even more unacceptable to allow our government and our school boards to slash funds from these programs We are not being encouraged to give higher forms equal footing. We are raising test-takers. I tutor test takers, and it is not about being smart. It is about knowing how to take a test. That is not going to be an accurate evaluation of how you are going to contribute to society.

If any of you watch American Idol (guilty), you will know this poor, talentless kid Sanjaya. He is terrible. He can barely keep a pitch and has little stage presence. He is out-sung and out-performed in an embarrassing manner every week. The only thing keeping him on the show is Vote for the Worst.dot com. Anyone ever heard of it? It's a campaign to keep talent-free, completely unviable talent in the competition, and at the expense of those who have a legitimate shot at obtaining the top prize. This is what Americans are concerned with: Keeping Sanjaya on this competition. 35 million Americans voted last week for American Idol. That is more than the number that votes for President. If 35 million Americans wrote their senators about keeping arts funding, about keeping phys-ed in our schools, about rescinding the Patriotic Act, about abandoning the Kyoto Treaty, then maybe we could get something done.

Hmmm, but I guess everyone's too busy shopping at Wal-Mart.

Back from Oregon

I love Portland! The traffic was mellow, it hardly rained the whole week I was there, they have hiking and culture. Needless to say, it was really great to get the hell out of crazy land, er, I mean, LA. J's brother, his wife and daughter are about the nicest people one could ever hope to meet. They fed us extravagant meals and took all of our money playing poker. They even let us play with their puppy, a yellow labrador retriever named Malone. It was a very welcome respite. I don't want to try to write the name of the waterfall above because I can't remember how it's spelled and I don't want any angry former Oregonians sending me hate mail. Needless to say, it was very beautiful.

Sorry about the lack of artistry on the picture placement. I'm no Keli when it comes to the blog.
In other news: Tomorrow and Sunday I shoot a short film. I will post stuff on it when I have more information myself. And I have two jobs now (well, I guess three if you count tutoring), one waiting tables, and the other working as a hostess at a hoity-toity country club. The money is good, let's just put it that way. I start the serving job on Monday and the country club on Saturday, and somewhere in between I have to find time to tutor my student. Ugh!