The holidays, I think, are an extraordinarily difficult time. Often times, we run frantically from place to crowded place trying to find that perfect gift that will give our loved ones actual, physical proof of how much we really do love them.
J (love the pic, bro) told me a story today that reminded me of how much we forget that this time of year is not about consumption and one-upmanship but about love. Love unrequited, love unacknowledged and acknowledged, love desired, love felt, love received, love wanting to be given. Sometimes, don't you feel your heart will burst from all the love inside of it? That sensation when it visits me travels from my heart to my throat, straight into my eyes where I fight back tears. See, sometimes people do things for others just because they can. They want to help someone feel better about themselves, maybe help them pay bills, maybe even help them buy gifts that may have otherwise gone without purchase.
It's often hard when you are on the receiving side of this kind of love because our egos don't want to acknowledge that occasionally we really do need help. We don't want to admit that sometimes we need someone watching over us, believing in us, acting graciously on our behalf.
It's true that we all have an embarrassment of riches. Even me, as broke as I am, am typing this from my warm room on my own computer. There are many people working so hard who simply cannot make it work with only 24 hours in one day. They are the working poor. Most of us are literally not even one paycheck away from losing our homes, our cars, our sense of self. And yet the world is full of love. Snow falls from the sky and we find it inconvenient, and yet it blesses us with the water to enrich our bodies and souls. The sun shines and burns our skin but it brings us life. Literally. It wakes the spring flowers, inspires us to cross to the sunny side of the street (and to sing songs by Billie Holliday). That is love.
I don't suppose I really have a point, but I believe that we forget to acknowledge the people seen and unseen who are guiding us and keeping us safe. And if this holiday season serves to do anything for me, I hope I can remember that there is love out there just pleading for us to grasp it.
