Stealing from Juli

I love Juli's random thoughts. You know, they are kind of...random, but it made me think of things that I find random. I love the word random. Random is defined by, ironically, Random House Webster's Pocket Dictionary as "without aim or consistency." That is probably the most succint it gets. I'm sure that, say, the Oxford Dictionary would have a much longer meaning with origin and phonetically spelled, etc. Luckily, I am not a complete moron and I know how to say "random" without having to sound it out.

So, here are my random thoughts:
1. The world is a better place with DVR in it.
2. I spend way too much money on groceries because I buy fruit and veggies, which of course, are way more expensive than white bread and potato chips.
3. It's hard to think of random thoughts when you're trying. I was chock-full the other day.
4. I don't like mean people. I want to be a person full of love and light. And those mean people, I want to punch them in their fat guts!
5. An old man at the country club kissed my cheek once because he liked the table.
6. I hate working real jobs. I haven't been properly trained. Eight shows a week, no problem, 9-5....forget it. I'd rather eat my own vomit. Not kidding.
7. I think that people in SoCal are meaner than people anywhere on this planet. Money will NOT buy you happiness. I've got proof. They're called the "B#$ch Top Five" and they're all members at the Brentwood Country club (since I am no longer an employee I have no desire to protect the guilty any more. Not that I ever really cared anyway).
8. I really do believe that Macs are better than PC's.
9. I have the most creative, talented friends in the world.
10. I don't like to clean toilets.
11. I can't stop at ten now, can I? This is a random list!
12. I wish I had an I-phone.
13. I think that Lindsay Lohan (get to rehab), Paris Hilton (go back to jail), Britney Spears (get some counseling), and Nicole Richie (eat some cheese) should be banished to a place without cell phones (say...Gnome, Alaska) because of their irresponsible representation of women in general. Get a life, you losers!

That really became more of a Dennis Miller-like rant. But I do feel better. Thanks, Jules, for the tip.

Workworkwork

I really do do things other than beat old ladies with billy clubs at the country club where I no longer work. Thank my lucky stars. I look for the perfect job here in LA, although I still have no idea where that may be. I have also been auditioning, three last week, which is pretty good. I had an audition for Thoroughly Modern Millie on Monday. I sang in the morning and got called back to dance in the afternoon. We did a jazz combo, then he cut people, then a tap combo. I felt really good about how I did, especially considering that A: I don't really dance that often, and B: I was easily ten years older than most girls in that room. I definitely held my own with those young'uns. Then on Saturday I had an audition for a feature film. This one was for a character in a ballet company. She's the fading star (think Sheila in A Chorus Line, "May the adults please smoke?") and is having difficulty adapting to the younger dancers. It films in Russia and China. I think I did really well. There was this girl called in for the young dancer who was asking me questions after the call. She was like "You were in there a long time. What happened?" And I told her a little bit, and then I told her to be prepared to dance. You should have seen the look on her face. She said a very long, drawn-out, "whaaaaaattt?" I was like, just do some basic ballet, you know like some tendus or an across the floor combo. So if she's even a close comparison to what the other girls are like, I think I have a pretty good shot. Then on Sunday, I had a great audition to be a germophobic mom. The scenario was that I discover my little girl in the men's restroom playing with a urinal puck. And act! I had a great time, just messing around. They auditors were laughing, writing down my ideas...now hopefully they'll hire me. The caveat should be that it's only funny if I do it! So everyone, put me in your thoughts so I don't have to work three jobs and hustle around like an idiot just to pay rent!